Wednesday, August 7, 2019

2019

It's been a long while since I dusted this place off.

Realized I had some broken links. Didn't even notice those websites went missing. Updated some of the wording in my sidebars because it was making me cringe.


2016 was a hell of year... Realized that I needed to pull my head out of the sand and pay actual attention to the world around us.

We bought our home in February 2016. Got promoted to Store Manager in March. Quit college again. I was loving college. Working on knocking out Nursing Pre-Requisites. Unfortunately, I really do suck at school. I love the learning, pass the tests, never finish the homework. Story of my dang life.

Getting the promotion worked for our long term goals. I love the gas station; it still filled that need for helping people. There is a part of me that loves to live vicariously on Tumblr following doctors and nurses and see the medical world from their eyes.

I help where I can, learn all I can, teach where I can. Diabetes is a morbidly fascinating disease. It's exhausting.

After that promotion, I dropped my second job at Shoe Dept by about August. I focused on being a Store Manager. BUT, by the next June, I was bored and had different goals anyway. We learned that we legit can't have kids. And I can't get life insurance. Stupid diabetes. As usual.

My new goal was to pay off the house in five years. Get some "life insurance" through my own sweat. Picked up a second job as a manager at Auto Zone. Definitely one of my favorite jobs so far. Learned a ton, made a lot of friends and whittled down the mortgage. I wanted the house paid down so I didn't have to worry about "What if" when we decided to start doing foster care.

Well, marching along doing that, loving the management for both my stores and Auto Zone. 2018 hits AND, well here's an opportunity to move into corporate for the gas station. BUT, we have to move to Salt Lake. Now.

Leaving Logan was hard. Like tears hard. Like grumpy customers and everything.

We did it, we went and lived with Zane's parents until we had a chance to figure out where in Salt Lake we wanted to settle.

This year, we found a wonderful home in Cottonwood Heights. Easy access to everything and the area feels small enough that it reminds me of Logan. Salt Lake is congested and has really bad road layouts. Blegh.

Life is good. It's always good.

Diabetes suffered. I haven't had my A1c out of the 9s in years. I'm working on it. Working 80 hours a week, managing stores, it's all very inconsistent. I got the Medtronic 670.... and I hated it. I could not ever get the AI to work. The sensor constantly forcing me out, asking for calibrations, it just didn't work with my work load. Even giving it all the attention I could, I was constantly in the 40s while trying to work. I just couldn't wait it out.

Honestly, I gave up so bad on my diabetes, I went for months last year without checking my blood sugar. No matter what I did, it was always in the 190s to 290s. I mostly gave up and focused on other things.

This year, I got my hands on a Dexcom G6. To be honest, this is the first CGM that I have worn continuously more than three times. I can put it on without a helper and it doesn't hurt. Also, it doesn't fall off after just a couple days. AND, it doesn't require calibration. The less crap I have to carry, the more likely I am to be successful.

I'm working the focus again. I'm 30 with no complications, I hope to hit 40 with no complications. I mean, almost no complications. My last eye appointment did see a small amount of evidence that diabetes is affecting the veins in my eyes. I'm ever hopeful that lowering my A1c will give my body a chance to heal the damage.

I've looped Zane into helping me watch blood sugars. He gets the alerts on his phone when I've been out of range for the amount of time I set. He'll text a gentle reminder to see if I've gotten too lost in my work to remember I need to take a little insulin.

So here's to my continuous fight against diabetes burnout. And letting people help me when I just can't help myself.

Cheers.

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