Monday, October 13, 2008

Toll

I was reading Kerri's post today. And it got me thinking about more than just my situation. Yes, I am the person that lives with a diabetic body everyday. But who else worries about said diabetic body? What toll does it take on those who love me?

I know my parent's worry about me. I know they've done research and have seen what diabetes can do to a body.

I know the rest of my family has done similar research or has asked me for the details and what all diabetes entails. 

My friends, everyday, see my sucesses and trials. They see me wince at a bad number or become elated at wonderful numbers.

They've come to the point where they all know what effect each number has on my future.

Everyone around me is affected. Even my new family.

What Kerri's post got me thinking about most was my soon to be husband. He is a man that astounds me everyday. He is doing 14 credit hours of 3000 level classes and on top of that he has recently worked to become promoted to a shift manager at Carl's Jr. He works full time doing the closing shift there. Why does he do that? Partially to work through school debt free but probably one of the things that drives him to do it most is that I can have insurance. So my diabetes is taken care of.

It just astounds me... that's all I can say. 

Yet I know that at some point, my disease takes it's toll on everyone around me. Most especially him. I can see him worry. And I can see the stress he is under.

I know he thinks about our future family. I know I am no longer the only one worrying about my ability to safely be pregnant. It seems there is a bit of a history of trouble with pregnancy in my family. Put diabetes on top of that..... And now, this post has turned into a rant. :/ Hmm... 

The point of this post is the toll that my disease takes on not only me, but the ones I love. There are days I really wish I could remove diabetes from my life, just to spare other's worry about me. To spare my dear fiance a little stress.

I do my best to do what I can by taking the best care of myself I know how. I keep myself healthy as best I can. 

2 comments:

ammon said...

Yup. Take care of you. ^ ^

You are very blessed to be so loved. And yes, we are watching.

Kim said...

We are all blessed in one way or another with something. You have a amazing future husband who cares, and he probably does not mind being a little stressed. You are an amazing person with the drive to keep your diabetes under control which is great I see so many people every day who could care less about taking care of themselves and what that does to others. You are doing great and I to am watching out for you.