Tuesday, July 22, 2008

5 am Meandering

-yawn- Hey, it's 5 in the morning I haven't slept since yesterday morning... Why don't I blog? ;) That should put me right to sleep.

Just some random meandering of thoughts. Not a lot has been going on since I last popped on here. Working, listening to music, attempting to study, keeping up with family and friends. Just got invited to one of my high school friend's wedding receptions. I think that's 7 of the people from my grade of 71 that are now married or are engaged. That's 10%, kind of impressed.

But I've just been keeping up with everything as best I can through Facebook. Love that place.

But sometimes I get to thinking about random things, like... do all my friends that I don't talk to understand those Facebook status' that say I'm so high I can't see straight? They all know I'd never do drugs but they've gotta be scratching their heads trying to figure out what the heck I mean.

I mean, if you ever spend any time with me, you can't help but know I'm diabetic. But these people on Facebook, most don't know word one about diabetes.

I often have to catch myself when talking to them. A frequent question is how are you feeling today? Well my autopilot response usually involves something about my blood sugar numbers in between all the drama and boring fluff. I forget that they don't live with diabetes, that they don't automatically know exactly what I'm talking about.

There are very few friends who actually know exactly what I mean when I say I'm 55. The normal response is, "Is that ok?" or "Oh, that's good, right?" Very few people understand why I let out a yippee when my meter reads anything between 90 and 100. They don't understand my urge to share such wonderful numbers. They're just numbers to them. To me, they're much more. I try to just see them as status reports but I usually worry about what each out-of-range number is doing to my future health. They don't get why I groan when I see anything over 150.

Though, I've gotta say, I really appreciate that people around me do try to learn. They'll ask for what the range of good numbers are, they'll ask what a certain number makes me feel like.

There is one person who knows what all my numbers almost as well as I do, and he's getting talented at carb counts too. Yeah, I'm talking about that person I never stop talking about. ;) Sweet Guy, my boyfriend and best friend. The guy picked up the diabetes learning curve from the day he met me and ran with it.

He cheers me on when I'm down because of a really bad d-day, he helps me study my blood sugar charts, helps me bounce ideas to figure out why my latest BS average is nothing but BS. I definitely earned my name Lucky when I ran into this guy. And he has never lost the Sweet part of his name.

And if you're really curious as to what you might see me doing if you peeked into my life, you'd most likely find me chatting with him on MSN. You know, I haven't seen him in two months now. And I really hope I'm not causing too much eye rolling in whoever may be reading this. But I don't have a ton of diabetes stuff right now.

I've finally found an infusion set site that hasn't melted off yet. Top butt cheek. -shrug- I couldn't tell you why, but it has definitely stayed the week instead of sweating off the first day.

Other diabetes stuff, in my Primary Sunday school classes, it has become an event to watch Jessica test her blood sugar. I needed to do it once in class and they've been forever fascinated since. They all want a turn to poke the teacher. ;) One of my little students has started watching me in sacrament to see if I test my blood sugar. And then when we get to our classes, she proudly tells me that she saw me.. And that it was so cool, but still gross because "You licked off your finger... again, that's just yucky Jess." I love these kids, I teach about five 5 year old girls in my little class. A while back, when they asked me to explain why I had to test my blood sugar, they all accused me of being a liar when I explained that they had a pancreas. "We do not!! That's gross!! You must be lying teacher. I can't have a pancreas." Oh well, they all know I have Type 1 Diabetes and that I have to test my blood sugar to make sure I'm feeling good and that I have to have my pump to keep me healthy. (that's what they tell all the other kids not in my class) And of course that it's all very gross. I don't understand that, but it still makes me laugh when they all gather around to watch me test and then it's just hilarious the way all ten eyes watch my finger as I bring it up to lick it off. And then the subsequent groan "Ewwww", I've never left that class with anything less than a huge grin plastered on my face.

What else. Hmm, well I'm making a trip up to Malad next weekend with Sweet Guy. Gonna stay at my parent's house for the weekend and then go to Logan on Monday for a doctor's appointment with a new doctor. (YAY for finally having a driver's license!!) My last doctor decided to focus entirely on pediatrics and dropped all of his internal medicine patients. I'm hoping this new Doctor is good. I can't wait until I actually have the means to see an Endocrinologist. My last A1c was 7.1%. Not bad, but I want better but I'm not exactly sure how to change what I do. But anyway, for now, I'll just keep going to the docs that are close by so I can get my prescriptions and such.

Anyway, I should probably make another attempt at getting a little sleep. If you got this far down the post, kudos to you. I'm impressed. If you have any comments or want to know something, leave me a comment or question. I'll get you an answer asap.

tata. ;)


ammon said...

Jess, u r insane. I'm glad that things are going well for you right now though. I keep tabs on your blog just to see how you are. Keep in touch! ^ ^

Jess said...

Oh no, I think the proper term is inZane. ;) And thank-you, I'll take the distinct lack of sanity. I enjoy every moment. Had an awesome weekend, update soon to come as soon as I recover from said weekend. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ;)